Stalking

    It has come to my attention that people are bashing me for doing the one thing that keeps me sane and relatively happy. I am sure a lot of people can relate, but here's my reasoning. I'm a HUGE fan of Bon Jovi. Ever since I was almost thirteen (still twelve) I have been known as 'the Bon Jovi stalker' or 'the Richie Sambora stalker'. Well, I'm not the girl guys typically like, speak to or even look at. I am the girl they laugh at, make fun of and bully. I am now a sophomore in High School, almost sixteen and even though I take pride in being passionate for "my guys" it's turning into harassment. Not only from peers but from my family.

People say to me: "you don't know how to love or like, you obsess."

I see that Richie may never care to know who I am, be attracted to me or realize that I exist. As sad as that is to me, it doesn't discourage me. "Obsessing" over Richie is my way of coping with things in my life. I runaway to him in my imagination and there I am safe. I write fanfictions to put my thoughts and dreams into typed words for others to enjoy from a different perspective. How else am I supposed to be where I want when I cant physically be there? How else am I to be with someone who is the only person I truly give all of myself to if they possibly could care less about me because I'm 'Just another one'?

They say: "You're a stalker, you freak! Stay away!"

Just in the last paragraph I asked two questions. I'm sorry that somehow my way of doing things bothers you. I'm sorry that my 'obsessions' may be the things I constantly talk about, but I don't really know what else to talk about as that is the only thing I know a lot about. [Sorry, NOT SORRY!] Everything else links back to the band and Richie himself. When I do happen to like a guy at my school some of my friends call me a stalker of that said person because I don't know how to speak to them and/or  9.999999999999999999% of the time said person friend zones or strongly dislike me. However, sometimes the guy I like calls me their stalker. For example: the other day I was texting the guy that I love/strongly like (who happens to feel the same for me) called me their stalker because I said "I think it's funny how when you are not at school people come to me for answers as to why you aren't there." He replied with "Because you're my stalker." It really deeply hurt me that he said that when he's the only person who knows everything about me that no one else does. He knows it hurts me when people say that because people use it in a bad way.

My family says:

- "You need to stop stalking them"

- "You do realize there is a law against stalking, right"

- "You cant love or like, you can only obsess"

- "Don't you realize they are people just like you and I?"

Yes, I realize there is a law against stalking. However I do not follow them in bushes taking pictures and follows their every move. That is way to extreme. I do realize they are people just like you and I. I'm also a musician, just as they are. But as I said before, I do know that more than likely none of them will ever care about me, remember, or know I exist.